Toddlers manoeuvre the world with limited words and many new big emotions. You can’t use logic with an overwhelmed child, but often music can help to regulate the toddler’s mood. I have started integrating music not just to entertain my boy but also to regulate his mood when he feels angry or frustrated about something. The reasons could be simple or complex. He could be hungry, angry, lonely or tired. When I don’t know what to say that can calm him and me, I resort to singing. My favourite line to calm him these days – “Gaana sunega?” meaning “Wanna hear a song?” He always says yes. No matter what the mood. In fact, he mentions which song he would prefer. I used it instinctively and later found out that it is backed by neuroscience.

1. Why Music Helps Toddlers Regulate Emotions

Toddlers’ brains are still learning how to regulate their emotions. The front part of the brain, which helps to calm down, is not fully mature, while the emotional brain is already active. Music skips the language comprehension part and directly reaches the nervous system. Research shows that music can lower stress hormones to activate the nervous system in a way that promotes calm. Especially, familiar songs show predictability, which guarantees safety to a child’s brain. Words sometimes demand willingness to comply, but familiar music gently guides the emotion, and a toddler’s mood softens.

2. How I Use Music in Everyday Life With The Toddler

I use mostly baby rhymes that my son already loves. Slow songs to calm him and fast ones to make him dance. Sometimes I invent songs with words he likes and repeat them slowly as a song. These help with meltdowns or making him sleepy. When the baby wants to expend energy by running aimlessly, I try to get him to dance to upbeat music. Making him tired through dance will later help him sleep better or play more calmly. Just like most moms, I also use specific songs for certain activities—for diaper time, for baths and of course for bedtime. Habits need cues. Music helps toddlers predict what comes next, and this reduces stress around change.

3. What I Learnt From Music About Parenting

Science and society suggest that the parent should calm down before the child does. This music strategy is useful for me as much as it is for my child. My son mirrors my mood more than anyone else’s. This is not a perfect formula or a potion that works every time. But it is a fun and gentle tool to have in order to soothe toddlers and manage their behaviour. Managing a toddler’s mood is not easy, but it can always help to keep things simple. Or should I say, keep it in tune?

Please leave comments to share your experience with music around children.