Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both.

– Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken.

Knowing what is going to happen would make life too dull. Isn’t it? Uncertainty is the real beauty of life. To reach your destination, you need to take some roads and skip some. What is life if not a result of our choices between two roads everyday, every moment? But what happens to the roads not taken? What happens when someone finds success or amusement from something that you decided to leave? In urban slang, I am talking about FOMO- the fear of missing out. Let us talk about the impacts here-

Positive vs Negative energy

Everybody is looking for company. And sometimes it is tough to get the time from the right people you want to be with. Whether in friendship or in dating, many people start making poor choices just out of the fear of loneliness. So many of us, eat out often just because that restaurant is new and that friend is going to it as well.

Lot of these people bring negative energy. They leave you worse than you were and make you feel anxious or inferior. The next time someone asks you for your time, think whether this friend is going to nurture you or drain you.

With the possibilities of meeting people online than face to face, how real is the connection anyway. I know and see a lot of people to prefer to stick with texting. No calls or face to face anymore. Anyone can be polite over text once in a while.

Take action – Embrace solitude. Do not meet unless the person puts you in a positive space. And if you decide to interact, ask to meet face to face. A face to face interaction tells you more about the person. Gives him or her a personality. Most of all, the connection feels human.

Highlights vs Real life

Social media platforms, just like any form of media, can be used for good and bad. People share the highlights of their life, mostly positive ones. This doesn’t mean that the person behind that holiday picture is not going through struggles themselves. A smart person will remember that the post is just one fun moment from someone’s life. A passive person will think that is the full picture.

The next time you browse through your Facebook feed, notice how your mood and feelings are impacted. How you feel inadequate or anxious looking at the projected better lives and better experiences of others. This anxiety leads us to feeling inferior and spend on things we don’t need.

Take action – If you can, avoid being on social media. If you cannot, set some small time aside in a week and stick to it. Follow few people and pages that help you feel good and not bring toxicity to your day in any way.

Distractions vs Focus

A friend told you to watch “Game of thrones” series. So you binge watch it the whole weekend. The weekend after that. And the weekend after that. Because hey, what else is there to talk about, over coffee. One streaming service is offering you cheaper rates for subscribing longer. Another one had award winning series to watch. There is new sequel to a franchise you are a fan of. The list is endless.

What do you choose to watch and what not? How to get over the fear of missing out in this case? For me, one solution is to not subscribe. Because there will always be something to watch for everybody. Without the interruption for ads, it is easy to lose track of time and binge the whole night or whole weekend. Why lose sleep over something so futile?

Scrolling is the new Smoking.

– The Minimalists.

Notifications from different apps are constantly inviting us to scroll through the feed on laptop or on mobile. Minutes become hours. The food gets cold at the dinner table.

Take action – Disable all or most notifications unless “urgent” messages are to be checked in time. Keep mobile away from bed before going to sleep. Let scrolling not be the last thing you do before sleep or after you wake up.

Local vs Online

Remember the days when the shopkeeper would know your name and give an extra candy to your kid at the counter. Or extra chillies while packing your groceries. Whatever happened to the joy of handpicking each food item we eat! Or the pleasures of trying out each unique piece of clothing in a nearby small boutique. Online apps are of course a great option. But use them responsibly. Use them for things that are not very personalised. For everything else, try local.

Online apps and websites can easily lure you into the latest fads and trends that you don’t even need. Before you know, you should have put 3 more items in the checkout cart and entering your credit card pin for that shiny licra dress you will never use. What’s the worse that could happen if you don’t buy it? Classic example of fear of missing out on a trend.

Take action – Buy local whenever you can. Set aside a budget for expenses each month and stick to it. Think practical use over trends.

Less vs More

If you follow my blogs, you know how much I have been researching on the mindless pursuit of more. More money, more possessions, more fame, more everything. It is stretching us thin. We are scheduling a new thing in every living minute we have. Because of course, you need that house, that car, that fancy watch, the suit, the gown, the saree, the jewellery to go with it, the furniture to go with the house…Enough said.

There is no end to the pursuit of more. It leads to poor mental and physical health. Slogging to make more money, spending that money mindlessly, taking loans. Then slogging some more to fulfil the loans. The fear of missing out on that big event for new years. Why miss the big vacation package? The illusion of multi tasking is taking down most careers. And worst of all, making people lesser tolerant to the world and to each other.

Take action – Practice stillness. Meditate more often. This gives you freedom from the rat race of life sometimes. Teaches you to slow down. Brings clarity on what is really necessary. And best of all, practice minimalism to bring only the essential things to life.

Hope you manage to convert your Fear of missing out FOMO to Joy of missing out JOMO. Share your experiences on the social pressures of trying everything.

Meanwhile, I will leave you with following great words:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

– Robert Frost, concluding lines from the Road Not Taken.